Here I am, the mighty Shoppers Drug Mart. The soft glow of the lights make me glow inside, I park my Juke. It's 11:34pm, they close at 12:00am. I go in quickly, I need tooth paste. I ask guy with name tags, his name is John. He looks stoned, his eyes are redder then a PEI beach. I don't blame him, the night closing shift sucks. I'm told asile 2 far right side. So many options. Arm & Hammer, Colgate, Sensodyne, & off brands. I choose Sensodyne Complete Protection. The label is pretty. I check out, same cashier as last time. This time she looks sober. Still too young for me. I walk out. Tooth paste & keys in right hand. Multi-tasking is fun, you should try it. I start my Juke, the starter whines like new hostess. It growls to life. I put it in gear, clutch out & I stall. Opps, put it in 3rd gear. I try again, 1st worked great. Usually late Friday night commute home, cops in their usual spots. Few cars. Lots of green lights. The radio is on, FM. I like it. Alan Jackson comes one, Small Town Southern Man. Classic song. I sing, sign me up Sony. Your next multi-million dollar artist. Lots of corn stalks, & a tractor plowing a feild. A New Holland, odd for John Deere town. Chug, chug, chug it goes turning dat dirt. I get home, I pull in. I back in. I open the garage door. The tractor looks sad, I hug it to cheer it up. It smiles, mission: success. I open the door. Shit, forgot the tooth paste. I go back out the rescue the tooth paste. I save it. I go back in, walking past the tractor it is still happy. It's bumping, it's having the time of its life. I put my dirty work clothes in wash. I get food. A good size portion of chocolate ice cream with peanut butter on top. I open a beer, Steam Whistle. I still on the TV, I turn to TLC to watch The Little Couple. Classy crazy. Great combo. I finish the ice cream, it was good. It had brownie chunks in it. In decide to turn on the fire place. It's cold here. The pilot is out of the fireplace, I get it restarted, it's warm. My cold heart is now luke warm. The cat senses the heat, & walks down. He curls up in front of it. I get bored, late night TLC is kinda sucky. I start writing the great post, the greatest post to grace the pages of Oppo.

"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
11/18/2017 at 01:26 • Filed to: Kimi Raikkonen

Goodnight Oppo.

sony1492 > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
11/18/2017 at 01:32

“I open *multiple* beers” ftfy

Jesus. GREAT POST. I mean that.

*standing on chair clapping*

Tristan > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
11/18/2017 at 01:38

The post is actually pretty meh. Disappointing, really, because the title was great.

Also, Alan Jackson. That gets you a star.

It’s not the 1st one.

Okay but have you considered the following:

Don’t.

Wheelerguy > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
11/18/2017 at 02:16

I’ll take a bladed hat and slice you in half.

awmaster10 > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
11/18/2017 at 02:42

Ban

pip bip - choose Corrour > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
11/18/2017 at 03:56

Kinja'd!!!

all i saw while reading it.

well done.

Do them too frequently and I will come over there and kick you in the nuts for ruining a good thing...

Are you a short James Bond villain?

Wheelerguy > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
11/18/2017 at 08:12

No, I’m worse.

Kinja'd!!!

...well then! Mortal Kombat?

Wheelerguy > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
11/18/2017 at 09:22

Who ya pickin’?

Sub Zero was always my guy! Mind you, I’ve not played any MK games in earnest since the SNES ones :P

Wheelerguy > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
11/18/2017 at 10:11

Me I only picked it up recently, after sporadically playing past titles in the coin-op console rentals here.

The Compromiser > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock
11/18/2017 at 15:43

This is good oppo.